Roryworks 2011

It is one of the most epic July 4th parties in the Capital Region of NY (that I have missed since the mid 00’s), and I’m here to fill you in on how it was this year.

Get ready, I have a bunch of pictures that are coming at you from all over the place!

We started out the day in the usual manner, hanging out in Rory’s garage while some people partook in setting of some very small firecrackers. I have no idea where they came from, nor did I even touch one. (the firecrackers and the people)

But others did. And they felt the need to experiment with the combinations of marshmallows, twinkies, and firecrackers. I never said it was a good idea. In fact, this is what happens:

Don’t do it!

And one of these went flying into the air via a medium sized bottle rocket:

Don't do it!

Beverage-wise, it was pretty well covered. Rory went ahead and filled a cooler with Coca Cola Classic, Barq’s Root Beer, bottled water, Pepsi Throwback, and canned Blue Moon, yes, canned Blue Moon.

I had a Pepsi Throwback. It was pretty good!

This is where the power lies...

In between, my college buddy, Jen, whom I haven’t seen in at least 8 years, came with her husband, Matt. They brought toys that Rory gave to them as wedding presents, marshmallow launchers. So we all played with those.

After all that junk got old, we headed to the back of the house, and Rory put out his spread. Staples like hot dogs, hamburgers, macaroni salad, baked beans, and other things were there.

Heart Attack Beans* and Hot Dogs

*’Heart Attack Beans’ is Rory’s variant on BBQ baked beans. His are rich in brown sugar and salt pork. I did not partake.*

Rory's hand-formed cheeseburgers
Marinated chicken breast (left) and ? (right)

I quickly wolfed down a hot dog and started a mission I had set out to do earlier in the day: create the world’s very first “Smorc.” “What is a smorc?” you ask? It is a SMORe Cube. Conceptually, it is a large marshmallow covered in six directions with milk chocolate and graham crackers which is wrapped up and grilled. The description I was giving to the number of people I did not know at Roryworks was that it was a “3 dimensional smore.”

In recent years, supermarkets have been selling gigantic campfire marshmallows (which taste like garbage, but who cares?), so all of the technology now exists to have what, on paper, sounds amazing to come to fruition.

Here’s how it turned out!

(I wouldn't waste good stuff for preliminary experiments)
The disgusting campfire marshmallows
Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bars (you need this)
One third of the Smorc (you get the idea)
A wrapped up smorc
A peak at the Smorc after grilling (I kept it on one side for far too long)
Smorc = House of Cards

In the end, with the tools allocated, the Smorc was a failure. A campfire marshmallow doesn’t provide enough structure to hold the components together. The second you touch it, it collapses like a house of cards. (I still ate it)

Ohh well.

Next year, I’m bringing toothpicks.

All in all, Roryworks 2011 was a success. I left shortly after the smorc failure because I was ashamed, but I did enjoy my time there.



While I was there, I made the very same discovery that Taylor along with Zira in a special cave in the movie Planet of the Apes (1968) made…



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