Skip’s words of encouragement…

I am very big on the catchphrases. Maybe it’s because I was a wrestling fan growing up. Maybe I’m just nuts. Maybe it all applies.

You’ll remember back a few months, I unleashed one of the greatest catchphrases this blog has ever seen: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIEEEEEEEEFE!!! Some of you, actually more of you than I would have ever expected, bought the corresponding t-shirt, and that t-shirt also went on to win second place in Darth’s t-shirt contest.

He lost a lot of weight...

Just in time for Christmas, I’ve been working on the next big thing. (Sure, you can scroll to the bottom and get to the punchline, but I can assure you, you’re going to miss a lot of good shit)

But first, I need to start at the beginning.

You’re probably wondering, “who the hell is Skip?”

Well, so am I. But to ease your curiosity, here’s everything I know about him.

My father used to take us to his friend’s Italian restaurant in Wurtsboro, NY a lot. There, I became friends with the┬árestaurateur’s┬áson who freelanced as a DJ. There were many regular customers to the restaurant including a middle aged family with a son (Skip) who seemed a little younger than I.

Around the time when I was 18, we went to the restaurant for a New Years Eve celebration. My friend was the DJ for the evening. The only problem was that the area in which he set up his surprisingly professional DJ equipment, which also was adjacent to and at the same height as the dance floor, was weak. Not weak enough that you’d fall through it, but weak enough that as you walked over it, you could feel the wood boards sink. You can imagine how it would be with a sold out restaurant (capacity approximately 65) dancing all over it.

That evening, Skip got his name. He was dancing so hard and so fast and so hard that he was making the CDs skip.

Also on that evening (it could have been another evening, but for the purposes of keeping the story simple, play along), Skip gave me some unexpected and odd words of encouragement. You see, there was a time (just before college) where my dream was to one day become an orthodontist. Having had some strange orthodontic problems worked out, it seemed like the best way to make thousands of dollars for doing milliseconds worth of work. We all know how that turned out; I almost immediately majored in chemistry in college, went on to kick ass in graduate school, and now make a passable living doing chemistry.

All I can say is “Ohh kids!”

Well, that night, for some weird reason, this came up in a conversation with Skip and his mother. While I was explaining my grand plan, Skip stopped me. He put his hand in my face and said, “you wanna do something, nothing gonna stop you.”

And here’s how ridiculous it sounded:

So, in honor of Skip and his constant need to motivate people and break audio equipment and media, I present the next catchphrase!

And if you want to visit the derryX Zazzle store, you can now order the Skip Christmas Ornament Key Chain!


If you’d like to win one (and I’ll mail it to you so it hopefully arrives before Christmas so you can hang it on your tree or menorah), leave a comment with the best motivational quote you’ve ever heard. I will decide who wins based on an algorithm that I come up with in my brain, and will consider all responses submitted before 12:00am on 12/10/2011.

Get creative, but don’t look far (if you know what I mean).

I will announce the winner and winning quote in the week that follows.


9 thoughts on “Skip’s words of encouragement…

  • kriskaten

    wow i totally need that keychain for my new car keys. but i’m cheap, aka, broke.
    best motivational quote i know, which for some reason has stuck with me since i was 16:

    “keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin’ it’s time to die” – blind melon

  • Darth

    “You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.” – Jack Black

    BTW – I love posts that have my picture in them.

  • Keith

    While working as a head cashier at Home Depot, there were some older, retired men on the sales floor, working in departments where they had long careers to offer “non-professional professional advice.” One of the guys I clicked with, Ed, was a guy back in the home appliances section. I need to preface this advice, because the entire reason I knew Ed existed was the procedure followed on appliance sales.

    The salesman had to bring the product and the customer to the front end to be rung up, escort them through the front door, and wait while the stockmen loaded the appliance into their vehicle. This was to continue “forging a relationship,” you know, because people always go to mass-market retailers to forge relationships. Ed knew this was complete bullshit, so whenever he would come up to the front end, he’d have a new joke for me, and they were always dirty.

    On this particular afternoon, the couple he was escorting through the store was quite the pair. He looked like he was a physical laborer (construction worker, plumber, mechanic, something along those lines; he looked like he worked for a living), and she looked like a pampered queen. A queen that had the lower two thirds of her ass hanging out of the tightest, shortest shorts I have ever seen a woman wear out in public.

    After they pulled away, Ed and I were standing on the curb before reentering the store. Ed turned to me and had the most serious expression on his face, and I was bracing for a new joke, as that was part of his schtick.

    “Keith, it doesn’t matter what the hell you do in life, as long as you have enough money to marry a hot fucking broad like that, Madon!”

  • Valerae

    This is a great post. Skip sounds like an interesting dude.

    In sixth grade, my ex-BFF and I were forced to work on a project together. Everyone was paired off and started working and when Mrs. Cross came by she found us both refusing to work. She quickly realized it was our petty 6th grade fighting that was keeping us from accomplishing anything and told us frankly, “Look, sometimes you HAVE to work with people you don’t like so get over it and get your shit done.”

    It may not technically be a motivational statement, but it makes clear a reality that bratty little kids (and some adults!) haven’t yet grasped. It may have been the surprising cuss word, but it had the desired effect and it’s stuck with me through a number of crappy working and relationship situations.

  • See-ya-Dom

    “Don’t sing it, bring it” -Scott Hall

  • Darth

    Here is my official entry – “Nothing is over until we decide it is!”

  • Jeff

    To quote some dude on Seven Second Delay:

    Do what’s right for you, and F everyone else.


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