Winner of the Facebook Happy Birthday Prize…

Well, it’s sad to say that I have to wait a whole ‘nother year to celebrate again. There is still business pertaining to the birthday that I need to take care of for the blog. The gift recap is coming soon, as is a special write-up of my experience at one of departing Chef Jason Baker’s tasting dinners at Wine Bar and Bistro on Lark.

But I announced a contest involving my birthday and facebook, and I promised that I’d have a winner for you today.

The birthday wishes on facebook were plentiful. Of my 404 friends, at least 140 wished me happy birthday in some capacity. I am appreciative of all of the wishes, but, c’mon, guys, the vast majority were what I refer to as “The Facebook Happy Birthday.” By offering up the challenge to be more creative, one of the things I thought would happen was that people would think outside of the box and leave something fun. (another thing I thought would happen was people getting pissed off and not wishing me Happy Birthday at all; it’s difficult to say whether or not my challenge resulted in this.)

Some people did offer something that I feel was at least a step above The Facebook Happy Birthday. I’m going to highlight those (in no particular order) and then provide the winner of the prize.

A friend who would probably prefer to remain anonymous made reference to one of my favorite films, The Godfather, by saying “Leave the gun, take the cake” most likely in reference to the Cheesecake Machismo cheesecake that the entire internet is now aware of.

The lovely Lisa Jane Persky said, “Hey! Happy Birthday, yo! Do it up right. xoxo”. Instructions like that (because I know when she says “Do it” she means this) as well as kisses and hugs from a person who has been in a number of classic television programs and films are something special to me.

My old college buddy, Jen G. (now R.) said, “Hope you have the BEST day of your liiiiife” which is obviously in reference to the still-popular catchphrase, “THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIEEEEEEEEFE!!!”

The Exile tested my knowledge of the periodic table: “Have a great day filled with boron, iridium, thorium, dysprosium, cerium, lithium, bromine, astatine, iodine, oxygen, nitrogen and sulphur!” B Ir Th Dy Ce Li Br At I O N S [“That shit came off the top of my f*ckin’ head, yo!]

MetalFrog brought back my favorite joke to say in May, “May the _____ be with you,” where I say every numerical permutation except “fourth” by saying “July the 27th be with you.” [Side note: can we admit “May the fourth be with you” is the dumbest thing ever said on the interent?]

Sue left me a youtube video of a rare performance of The Beatles singing “Happy Birthday”, and co-worker, Todd, left a video of Paul McCartney performing The Beatles’s “Birthday” with his own band.

Mindy left this gem of an image.

But it was Valerae who offered the most creative entry and thus wins the prize. She actually took the time to incorporate some of the recurring themes on my blog, twitter, and facebook into a fun little song or poem. Here goes:

It’s Derry-X’s Birthday
And everybody knows
He posted on his blog
He wrote it in the snow

He wanted birthday wishes
A dinner down on Lark
A specially made cheesecake
And an easy place to park

His write-ups are so fun
Can’t wait for Hotel Hell
Was the food perfected?
Only Ramsey will tell

Jerry, don’t stop believin’
We want to hear some more
So never stop your ragging
About jerks on the Shore

This little song’s for Jerry
And really Cassie, too
They are the sweetest couple
There is no doubt it’s true

So crank some heavy metal
And make a little noise
It is our Jerry’s birthday
We all should jump for joy!

I honestly can’t even believe she went that far with it.

Mindy and Valerae were the only two people I actually spoke in person with regarding the contest, so it’s very probable that most of the people who left wishes had no idea what was going on or didn’t think I was serious.

Now that it’s all said and done, I’m glad nobody left nudity, because, the minute after I posted that challenge, it occurred to me that some people I know are crazy enough to do that.

Anyway, for playing along, I’ll treat Valerae out to lunch together some time. Because I know she knows who Kenny Bania is, she and I are going to have to establish some ground rules about what comprises the lunch.

Thanks to everyone who participated for having a sense of humor, and thanks to everyone who offered me birthday wishes. It really does mean a lot to me.