“The taste is gonna move ya!”

Sometimes at the beginning of the year, things get a little tight at the gym. Cardio machines are used a little more heavily because people resolve to train more. I’m all for it, and I like to encourage everybody.

Almost everybody.

Smelly people should stay home.

Odors are almost inescapable at the gym. I’m happy in a sense that my only complaints about other peoples’ odors are not from the putrid smells of body odor. I can’t tell you how many times I’m riding along on my elliptical trainer, and someone jumps on the unit next to me smelling like they just dumped a bottle of White Diamonds by Elizabeth Taylor or Axe body spray all over themself.

One day, a college aged young fellow wearing a loose t-shirt and backwards hat with straight brim decided to do his calisthenics behind the elliptical trainer beside the one I was using. As he brushed by, I smelled something oddly fruity, but made nothing of it. After he obnoxiously jumped onto the machine and set the resistance path to the maximum, he was rapidly peddling in the most distracting way possible, including flailing his arms along with the handles.

All of a sudden, I start to smell the same fruity odor. I don’t know why, but I looked over. While peddling, he was blowing a humongous bubble with gum in his mouth.

Ladies and gentlemen, don’t do this at the gym. It’s gross, and it will make you look like an idiot.