derryX Rant: Don’t single me out…

I have a tendancy to find myself in what I describe as “Larry David Situations.” If you’re too lazy to click the link and read that bit of gold that I wrote earlier this year to wet my appetite to get back into blogging, in a nutshell, things that happen or could happen to Larry on Curb your Enthusiasm have a tendency of finding their way into my life. The link gives some pretty specific examples, but here’s a unique story that just happened this past weekend.

My girlfriend invited me to attend her office’s holiday dinner at the Barnsider this past Friday night. I was appreciative of even being considered, not only from my girlfriend but also from her employer. I was the only guest at the dinner who was not employed by that employer, so I felt even more honored and slightly uncomfortable, as anybody would in my situation. As a result, rather than being my normal take-charge self, I took a back seat and really just went with the flow.

We actually met a few of her other co-workers at a different restaurant for a cocktail before the dinner, and we all basically followed each other to The Barnsider. We walked in as an entourage of six. I was somewhere in the middle of the group, maybe 4th or 5th in line to enter the door. It was a cool night, but nothing worse than the usual average for this time of year.

Already frazzled by the fact that there were three or four people I had not met at this venue, I was on point, waiting to be introduced to these people by my girlfriend or even one of the other co-workers with whom I was already acquainted. All of a sudden, an older lady not associated with our party comes out from the dining room, approaches me directly, gets in my face, and says, “you’re letting all the cold air in!” in a joking but serious voice that I can only describe as an annoying older Jewish woman voice.

I harp on things like this because I really don’t understand what I was doing wrong.

  1. I was walking into a restaurant that was open for business, just like she did at one point that evening. Was she greeted in the same demeaning tone by another patron when she entered? Was this some kind of rite of passage?
  2. It’s not like I was standing at the door, looking at her in the face and saying, “here you go, lady! I hope this chills you to the bone!”
  3. I entered with five other people. Granted, four of those people were female, but what excludes females from taking some awkwardness like this. Don’t we live in a society where everybody is equal?
  4. How does this woman know that I’m not an animal? When you decide to go up to a stranger and single them out, you have to have that debate in your head. You know, the one where you weigh the pros and cons of your actions and what you say. How did she know I wouldn’t fly off the handle in her face?
  5. Along with 4, what did she gain by doing this? If I’m going to approach a stranger, you better believe I think I’m getting something out of it.
  6. If you’re familiar with The Barnsider, you’ll know there’s actually a sizeable waiting area before you even get to the dining room. How cold could it possibly have been where this woman was sitting?

But like I said, I’m a magnet for this stuff. So if you’re a stranger and you want to enter into a socially awkward situation while I’m around, I beg of you, please don’t single me out.


6 thoughts on “derryX Rant: Don’t single me out…

  • Sue

    Number 4 has always puzzled me. My ex was (is) a huge guy and when people would get in his face (which really wasn’t all that often) it always made me wonder, “What are they thinking!?”

    You should have looked back at her and said, “I’m sorry. I’m homeless and was raised in a barn; I wasn’t aware I was supposed to close the door behind me. Let me knock these other four people in front of me down to the ground and close the door to make you more comfortable.”

    And then smiled sweetly, of course. 🙂

    • derryX

      Thanks for subliminally calling me huge, Sue. Glad I have you in my corner… 😛

      I really didnt want to get into it with her because I didn’t want to disrespect my girlfriend, but that old woman definitely got off easy.

  • kriskaten

    yikes. so strange. maybe she was drunk?
    i love the barnsider. hope you had a great meal!

    • derryX

      I don’t try to rationalize why I’m a magnet for these things. If she was drunk or not, I’m sure something else would have happened if not the story above. haha

      I have never been impressed with the food at the Barnsider. oddly, they have evaded a review. The service is shitty, they cannot cook steak for their lives. Just about the only good thing I’ve had there was their shrimp scampi, which is pretty close to epic.

  • Darth

    There’s a simple answer if you believe she is indeed Jewish. It’s “Oh I’m terribly sorry. Merry Christmas.”

    If she is an old Jewish Yenta, she’ll then say “No, Happy Hanukah.” In which you respond “No, I said Merry Christmas. May Christ be with you.”

    Nothing pisses an old Jew off more than being told “Merry Christmas.” It’s hilarious. I used to laugh so much when the old biddies in my family would get pissed off at people saying that to them. You should randomly try it. It’s not anti-Semitic, you’re just being ignorantly polite.


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