derryX saw Jersey Shore 3 Episode 13 – SEASON FINALE

XProtege has been fired.

On to the season finale of Jersey Shore 3 – wanna bet if Ron and Sam fight?

We start were we left off, and that’s with Ron talking with ARVIN and storming out when he finds out ARVIN made out with Sam. Sam gets on the phone with ARVIN. ARVIN won’t stoop to Sam’s level and deny that they made out. Sam gets pissed. Mike is egging her on the whole time. It escalates, and Ron takes the phone out of her hand and hangs it up.

Everyone else is planning for a Sunday Dinner. The dinner goes off without a hitch, and afterwards, Ron is outside all embarrassed. Sam and he talk. Sam says she hooked up with ARVIN three years prior. Ron still feels like an idiot.

Some uneventful stuff happens at the t-shirt shop.

I was still pissed over the Scream 4 commercial that aired during JS3. I just had to be reminded of XProtege. Ridiculous.

A bunch of the cast’s family and friends come to a weird house for a party DJ’d by Pauly D. There is a piñata. Hey, it beats the hell out of Karma. Vinny tries hooking up with Deena’s friend, and she c*ckbl*cks him and says he talks to Snooki. Snooki says she doesn’t care, but somehow a stupid drunk Deena keeps c*ckbl*cking Vinny.

Goddamn it, why did that commercial for Scream 4 need to be on?

At the party, Sam pulls Ron aside and basically tells her it’s her or Mike. Ron tells her to screw off. WTF is that?

They get on a shuttle bus which brings everyone back to the regular house. Vinny calls Deena “Angelina.” I get it; you probably don’t; I’m over it.

Mike makes up with Sam, and a bunch of them head out to Rivoli’s for dinner. I think that was the place with the gigantic portions. Yup. It is. The dinner is super-quiet. Deena breaks the silence by thanking everyone for taking her in so easily. Cool!

Great, everyone goes to Karma. That weird Roger guy asks Jenni if she’ll be his girlfriend. No way it works with him there and her in Long Island. I guess we’ll see. Everyone seems to be hooking up. How cute.

At home, Snooki cooks a grilled cheese for some little-boy looking mother f*cker; then they go into the smush room.

Sam is ridiculously drunk and bothering Ron while they’re walking back to the house. Ron power walks way past her. It continues in the house. She says something, and Vinny is on a couch so drunk. Ohh so drunk.

There it is again, Ron and Sam are upstairs and fighting. Ron runs downstairs after Sam repeatedly calls him an idiot, and Mike takes Ron outside. Ron’s crying like a wimp again.

Deena cooks disgusting grilled cheese for Vinny who is throwing up in his mouth. It seriously looks gross. All of it.

Sam and Ron go outside. Haven’t we had enough of this? Sam proposes that Ron be her friend, and he insists that his heart is broken.

Everyone else is at the table and proclaim how much they’re going to miss each other. I’m going to miss these kids.

As he is driving home, Ron claims his relationship with Sam was never real. Thanks for destroying any legitimacy the show has.

Jenni and Snooki have a long hug goodbye. A really long hug. A really, really long hug.

Snooki’s presidency plan is revealed. I hope she wins. I love being tan.

And that’s it.

The episode really sucked – 2/5 stars

I’ll probably be back next week with a recap of the reunion show.


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