Jersey Shore – Season 5 Episode 5 Recrap

Happy Groundhog Day!

Diet Cola is the beverage of the night.

Pauly claims the smush room for he and Vinny on their way back to the shore. Pauly fills Vinny in on how Mike is super nice to everyone now. I don’t see it, but we’ll roll with it.

Jen is suspicious of Roger because he hasn’t been around. She calls, and it goes to voicemail.

They go to a club, and Vinny is wearing a Yoda disco shirt, like Yoda, legend of The Force, at a disco. I’m not kidding.

Snooki takes a “shore shower” in the bathroom. Ladies and gentlemen, a shore shower is when you spray perfume all over your private area while a line of people waiting to use the bathroom watch.

They all get home, and Vinny does a bunch of pushups in front of his bed. Snooki is pretty drunk. Ooof. She gets up the next morning and feels the need to throw away her underwear, all incognito.

Deena is having issues with her extensions. They’re all tangled. She gets shocked by a hairdryer and thinks her brain is all screwed up because of the shock. Too easy.

Jen calls Roger again. Voicemail, again.

Snooki puts on two underwear. There seems to be a lot of focus on how she treats her bottom area in this episode.

The crew goes to a place called “Jenks.” Mike finds a bunch of kids he seems to know, and it seems to bother the other guys.

Snooki goes to the bathroom and thinks she’s having some kinds of UTI (urinary tract infection) issues. She goes to the bar and shares this with the bartender, and to cure it, naturally, she orders up tequila. At least she’s getting to the root of the problem.

They seem to split up. Most go to batting cages, but Mike stays back and throws a “major party,” consisting of other losers he rounds up just standing around at Jenks.

During the cab ride back, Mike tells Snooki and Deena that he thinks people are talking behind his back.

Back at home, the bathrooms are occupied, so Snooki goes outside under a staircase. Sure, if you’re having UTI issues, naturally you’re going to want to go to the bathroom in an unsanitary area.

Mike is up on the roof with Deena and Snooki. Mike’s pants are hanging off of his hock and they are blurring his midsection out. Everyone is hearing him rant; they all runs to the roof. In the interviews, they’re all talking like his whole schlong is out, but I don’t think it is; if it is, then daymne! That’s a situation. At one point, he tucks it back in, and they stop blurring. The whole time, he was saying something, but it didn’t register to anyone.

Downstairs, Snooki tries to convince Mike to be honest with everybody about his feelings. She also has to tell him to relax. He runs in and explains to everyone that he’s being really nice to everyone. Nobody understands what he’s talking about. He apologizes for something, and the apology is accepted. I don’t know what just happened.

Deena and Nicole break out the bunny suit. Everyone gets freaked out and laughs. What else was supposed to happen?

They play some weird memory game called “warm beer.” I don’t understand what it is, but everyone just starts rubbing their fingers on everyone’s faces. Ron is painting Snooki’s face with black soot. On the way to the bathroom, she notices the shit on her face. They all are having a laugh.

While Mike’s sleeping, Snooki sneaks in with the bunny helmet, and scares the crap out of him.

At the t-shirt shop, Deena talks about getting shorts with some stupid words on them.

Back at home, Jen’s hairdresser of 5 years shows up at the house and gives the girls all a makeover. Snooki’s dad shows up. He looks like  a hoodlum.

Mike runs into Roger on the boardwalk. Mike plans to tell Jen all about this.

After a commercial break, Mike tells Jen he saw Roger on the beach in beach gear. Jen is pretty pissed that Roger isn’t spending time with her. The honeymoon is over! How many more episodes before he does drains out her PayPal account?

Snooki goes out with her dad. Meanwhile, Vinny, Pauly, and Ron are driving somewhere and are making fun of Mike’s earlier apology. These guys are diabolical; I like it.

Mike gets to the bottom of the whole thing: Snooki is starting the trouble. Mike immediately calls The Unit and tells him they’re going to unleash the unfinished business with Snooki. It looks like we have a situation.

Episode rating – 3 (These episodes are usually all over the place, but this one was almost impossible to follow, if the above didn’t indicate that)