derryX takes over Jersey Shore Season 4 – Ep 8

Right where we left off last time, Snooki hit a cop car and is being tested for alcohol. She forgot her license at home, so the guys are on their way, but there is traffic. The cops have to take her away because the guys don’t get there in time. When they do get there, Nicole is gone and they are towing the car.

After about two hours, they let Snooki go. Side note: they are blurring any logos on clothes that Mike is wearing. That’s pretty great!

Snooki calls Gianni to tell him about the accident. His first response “are you drunk?” Ohh yeah…he trusts her. Gianni and Roger are planning a trip to Italy. Gianni tells Snooki that Roger is busy with work and probably won’t come. Snooki tells Jen, and Jen gets pissed. She calls Roger, and Roger is fully apologetic about it. She looks like she’s about to vomit.

Deena suggests that the solution to all of Jen’s blues is a night out. Snooki surprisingly sits this one out. The guys go out too, and there are lots of girls there. Mike asks an Australian girl if she is DTF, and she knows what he’s talking about. Naturally, she says yes.

At home, Snooki is talking on the phone with Gianni, and Mike’s girl Britney rings the door bell. When she gets upstairs, she says “where’s Mike?” This girl is such a stalker. Snooki is partying with this girl, and, meanwhile, Mike is in a cab on the way home with a grenade. OHH NO!!! WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN?!?!

All the guys get home from a night of partying and have girls. Mike gets to his bed, and is surprised to see Britney. Britney doesn’t even seem to care that Mike brought a girl home; she just starts stripping in front of everyone. Mike sends the DTF Australian grenade home, and gets it in with Britney. Everybody wins!

The next morning, Snooki is going crazy trying to figure out what to where when Gianni comes. Jen makes her bend over and sprays some junk on her ass crack. What the hell is going on any more?

This Gianni guy looks like a miniature Guido. He’s not much taller than Snooki. And he might have the dumbest haircut of all time. She is trying to get him to have sex but he wants to do everything but that, like shower, unpack, wear weird clothes.

When Mike meets this kid, it is crazy awkward. Mike explains to the others that he thinks Gianni doesn’t like him. Mike threatens that he’ll kick Gianni if there’s a problem and then starts doing kung fu hopping around. It is weird.

They get ready to go out, and Snooki comes out in something like a swimsuit. Gianni asks her to change, and Ron pats him on the back. Hahaha, this guy is nuts. All of them.

On the way to the club, Mike explains that if Gianni asks him about what happened with Mike and Snooki, he’s just gonna tell him, because he probably already knows. This stuff is scripted, right? Anyway, Mike seems to be super paranoid about this kid.

They head to a new club. Snooki starts dancing on a stage and is literally stripping. Gianni is getting really upset with this. He storms out. Nicole storms out after him. Ron and Jen chase the both of them. Snooki is really mad and is yelling, “where is he going?!?!” while Jen is telling her she’s acting like an asshole. C’mon. Where is this kid going to go?

Ron finally catches up with Gianni. He is trying to reason with him, but Gianni doesn’t want to deal with that. Snooki is what she is, and I really don’t think he’s going to change her. Ron gives up. The rest of the people hop in a cab and head home, with a blubbering, drunk Snooki. Mike doesn’t know what’s going on and asks Paulie what happened. Paulie’s response: “who cares?” Perfect!

Vinny calms Snooki down. He’s a good dude. Gianni seems to be sleeping on a park bench, and Jen is out looking for him.

Paulie tells us in a candid, “Gianni knew what he got into; he should be more secure.” Um Yeah. What have I been saying all along?

Gianni rings the doorbell, and Snooki jumps out of bed to answer it. She runs to greet him, and he wants no part of her. Hahaha, he says “there goes my life,” and she keeps calling him mean. I really don’t understand what’s going on in her head. She is pleading with him, and all he can say is, “get out, you’re single.” Hahaha, Nice approach, dude.

Gianni literally packed up and is ready to go. Mike, about Gianni, says “on the surface, that kid looks like a good kid, but underneath, that kid is a f*cking wankster,” and now you know why I love this show. We end with Snooki crying and Gianni on the way out.

Episode Rating – 3.5/5