Jersey Shore – Season 5 Episode 8 Recrap

This time I’m drinking water with 7 ice cubes.

Back at Karma, a fight is breaking out. People are getting pushed around, someone pulls Jen’s dress down. Roger throws a punch at the guy and lays him out, and the guy gets kicked out; Roger just walks out like he owns the place.

Snooki walks in with Gianni, and they’re gonna bang, but Gianni is gonna throw up first, hang on. BLUCK!!!

Roger’s hanging out in the smoosh room while Jen is crapping, so Ron invites him down for a drink. While he’s down there, Mike makes everyone chicken salad sandwiches. Jen gets pissed because she’s just trying to get it in. Roger eats his sandwich in 2 bites. Mike makes Roger another. Jen gets pissed again, but he just eats. Jen, still pissed, throws a resistance band over the balcony at everybody.

Gianni and Snooki are in bed, but Gianni is dead to the world. Snooki is pushing him around and won’t let him get away with no sex. Ohh well, she has no choice; this kid isn’t moving.

The next morning, the girls are downstairs talking about going on a fishing trip. Everyone goes to the dock; they stock up on fishing supplies, including these pretty cool crab cages. At the tackle shop, Jen asks the guy behind the counter if they make cappuccinos or lattes. Pauly makes fun of her and orders filet mignon.

They get into the usual debauchery while fishing on the dock. Jen says she “caught crabs.” Mike plops himself on the ground and sleeps, and Vinny puts a crab on Mike’s belly. Mike freaks out like a little wimp.

Deena gets the great idea to get a raft into the water, but the wind is carrying the raft over her head while she’s trying to walk with it. This is one of the funniest things I’ve seen on this show. When Snooki and Deena are in the water, the raft is all over the place. When they get back to the pier, while it’s still in the water, Ronnie lets the air out of the raft, and the girls drift away. Someone yells out, “sharps,” and Deena thinks there are sharks. The raft keeps going down and Snooki correlates this experience with the sinking of the Titanic.

Vinny, Pauly, and Deena are working at the Shore Store. Pauly D’s stalker girl shows up yet again. Nothing comes of the sighting.

Back home, Mike and Snooki are outside smoking, and Snooki is sitting there acting very sensually: boobs popped out, flirting, you name it. Mike tries laying on the charm, and he threatens that Gianni better be treating her right. Or else!

Snooki loses a bet with Mike, and now she has to wear the Lola bunny costume to Karma. With the mask on, she giggles her boobs like mad. Snooki actually walked into Karma as Lola. Jen is walking her around. Then Jen “Jersey Turnpikes” Lola. “It’s not a normal night at Karma; it’s a Lola night at Karma.” (Jen) These kids crack me up.

Some girl comes up to mike and outright tells him she’s DTF. Mike starts making out with her and two other chicks at the same time. Ohh wait, those two are for Pauly and Vinny. MVPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Instead of going home with everyone else, Snooki and Deena hop over fences on the boardwalk and hang out on the beach. She acknowledges that they’re breaking the law. The cops arrive, and escort them off the beach. Deena tries to bring a cop home. He doesn’t bite.

All the girls the guys brought home are picked up by a cab, and, by now, everyone is tucked into their beds for sleep. It’s only 5am or something.

The next morning, Snooki is still drunk, so she wants to drink it off. Ron and she go to a bar. Then, all of a sudden, she finds a mini motorcycle at a carnival game stand. She buys it for Ron. This just really bizarre. Even though there’s gas in the bike, they don’t ride it because they don’t want to get DUI’s. Yeah…

Jen, Pauly, and Mike go to work at the Shore Store. Mike’s ordering sushi. Pauly D’s staklker shows up, and Jen interrogates her. Nothing comes of it.

Snooki drags Vinny for a walk on the boardwalk. He obliges. She’s totally wasted, and keeps ordering shots at a bar. Vinny takes her shots and runs away with them. She tries her best to take both of them. He keeps fighting her. They walk home, and the episode ends.

Episode rating – 1.5/5