derryX takes over Jersey Shore Season 4 – Ep 4

We’re geared up for episode 4…espresso in hand…ITALY STYLE!!!

Standard definition letterboxed all around on the HD channel, again. Guess I’m watching it zoomed. Ohh well. (Please fix this, MTV)

Mike’s walking out the girl he had over and tries to get the twin, who is now in Vinny’s bed, to leave. That girl got pissed. I’m lost. I’m moving on.

The guys go out to eat and Paulie asks Mike what happened with Snooki. Mike kisses and tells the guys the gory details.

The girls do the same thing, but Snooki doesn’t say anything other than that she’s not losing Gianni over it. I’m starting to think Mike might have more of the right details going for him.

The guys are home cooking Sunday dinner, and Vinny is wearing the dumbest glasses in the history of poor vision. Paulie makes fun of Deena for having a lesbianic experience. He keeps trying to get her to talk about it by saying, “Lez be honest.” It was funny if you heard it.

Snooki calls Gianni and preempts the conversation about Mike’s story. She basically tells him that Mike is making the story up. She flat out denies doing anything with Mike to Gianni. She wants to have babies after he calls her “baby.”

The girls dress like idiots for Sunday dinner. They’re talking like idiots too. Everybody is all awkward because of the drama going on.

Ok so here’s the deal. The guys are calling Deena a c*ckblock for stealing the girl from Vinny in last week’s episode. It’s going on and on. The guys put her bed on the floor, and she gets really mad and sad and cries and then has an anxiety attack. Jen approaches the guys and puts the bed back. The guys keep going on like it’s a big deal. They’re just kidding. Jen pulls Deena in for everyone to talk. Paulie instantly flips it into a serious problem after she tells him he changed; he’s yelling and screaming and carrying on. Paulie levels with her and says, “sometimes my jokes are harsh.” — Words to listen to, you people who can’t take a joke.

The crew struggles to get up to go to work. Paulie is towering over Snooki and Deena while they walk to the pizzeria. They get white baseball caps; yes, these kids can look dumber. Paulie is handing out fliers outside, and all he does is give them to hot girls. I like this guy.

Ronnie is at home talking on the phone with this girl from back home. Hannah is her name. Jen approaches Ron about this. Ron doesn’t seem to want to hear about it from other people. I think Jen’s concerned this Hannah is gonna come to the house from the USA and piss Sam off. Hey…it could happen.

Back at the pizzeria, Deena and Nicole are doing stupid stuff and pissing off the pizzaiolo. Deena and Snooki pay a customer to buy them wine, and they go drink it in the bathroom, while on the clock. When the boss comes knocking, Deena acts like she has her “perioso.”

This pizza looks so f*cking good. I’ve been thinking about pizza a lot lately. 😉

A pigeon craps on Paulie.

Ron showers Sam with gifts.

Snooki and Jen go out to dinner. OMG Caprese salad! I’m so hungry right now! They talk about turning their men into sex toys and comparing them.

Sam and Ron go out and sit on the same side of the booth. How dumb.

Jen tells Snooki that Hannah is coming to Italy, and they flash back to Miami when Snooki and Jen wrote an anonymous letter to Sam, notifying her that Ron might be cheating on her. I don’t get what’s going on.

They all go to a club called YAB. People are breakdancing and flipping all over the place inside. Ronnie is poppin’ bottles. Girls are dancing in Ron’s general vicinity,and Sam gets mad at him. They have a drunk fight. Ron is 100% right but is being an asshole about it. Ron goes home alone, and Mike is at the club hooking up with girls left and right. Mike and Paulie each bring girls home. Paulie introduces Ron to a girl and says, “this is what happens when you take steroids.”

Sam gets home and wants to talk to Ron. Ron doesn’t want any of it.

The girl Paulie is with isn’t DTF, so they both go home. Mike calls that Brittney girl after 4am.

Ron and Sam are arguing, and Sam mentions that Mike is going around telling people that Ron has five different girls that could be on the way any minute.

Ron starts going on a roid rage on Mike. Wait, it’s more of a roid rampage. Mike has no idea what Ron’s on about. Ron keeps saying “sh*t’s about to go down.” Ron starts throwing Mike’s bed out into the hallways. Mike screams at Ron, “I don’t get involved in your relationship” and keeps egging him on. They start to fight, and the episode ends.

The preview shows Mike getting carried away in a stretcher. Ohh man, I can’t wait to see what happens.

Episode Rating – 4.5/5