derryX takes over Jersey Shore Season 4 – Ep 11

So we’re back in Italy again. Snooki just called Gianni to tell him she had sex with Vinny, and, of course he’s about to go ballistic.

He actually doesn’t go ballistic. He is pretty reasonable and explains that he doesn’t know how to react. Crying, she begs him to not break up with her. He just says he had to go and hangs up. After the call, Vinny jokingly asks her if she wants to cuddle. Funny. Real funny.

People are sitting around, and the idea of Deena and Pauly sleeping together gets bounced around. Whatever. It’s just sex. They’re only gonna go home soon anyway. Deena says she’d break his bed. Kinda gross.

The kids go to a club for the sole purpose of Pauly finding a girl to hook up with so Deena doesn’t get into his bed. They show him making his rounds. He meets some crazy girls, but he gets home with nothing. Vinny tells us that Pauly doesn’t want to do it with Deena because he doesn’t like meatballs. These guys are a f*cking riot!

The next day, Deena and Snooki, team meatballs, go out for breakfast and drinks. Deena walks in and starts dancing on the bar. Then, she and Snooki start dancing on tables.

Pauly uses a toothbrush laying on the counter in the bathroom to clean the hair from his clippers. Mike walks in and uses the toothbrush in the standard fashion. It’s kinda messed up, but what am I gonna do?

They go out to a really nice looking club and team meatballs are going nuts. Mike is picking a fight with some kid for no reason. Ronnie keeps saying he’s “split every one of those kids.” Here we go! Mike starts screaming, “MANGIA!!! YOU!!!” to a kid, presumably because he’s telling the kid he will eat him. He’s not telling the kid to actually eat, which is why people would say that.

Nothing happens.

They go to a different club. Actually only the meatballs do; everyone else goes home. The guys here are really creepy; they are clearly mocking them. The bartender starts throwing ice at the meatballs and they proceed to trash the bar. They get ejected and go home.

When they get home, they’re going nuts. They’re crazy drunk. They fill up the hot tub and have a good time. Snooki quote, “burning your kooka in the Jacuzzi – MEATBALL PROBLEMS!” I’ll bet money this becomes a t-shirt.

They leave the house the next morning after an all-nighter looking ridiculous. I am sure the locals think they’re hookers.

For dinner, Ronnie starts to grill dinner, and the grill bursts into flames. Ron and Sam go grocery shopping, and Sam wants to make sausage and peppers. While they’re setting up, Jen asks someone to do the dishes, and Mike starts picking on Deena for never cooking or helping with cleaning. She gets pissed and throws a spatula at him.

Sam starts cooking with Jen. I guess the people like what she made. They say a prayer on their last Sunday dinner and reminisce. They all are dying to get out of Italy. A fight over who is getting which room back in Jersey happens. Sam wants to move to Vinny and Pauly’s room with Ronnie; last time we were there, it was Sam, Ronnie, and Mike sharing a room. Basically, nobody wants to room with Mike. Mike drops the bomb that he’s probably not even going to Jersey. I don’t think anybody is gonna care.

Everyone Mike goes to talk to after that just walks away from him. I think this show is scripted at times.

Vinny is taking this hardass attitude toward Mike. He keeps saying Mike has to leave or change.

Vinny and Pauly mock having sex and even take out a condom. Why is this happening?

Mike inadvertently locks himself in a bathroom, and Ronnie is doing pushups.

Ronnie takes a break and lets Mike out. “I can’t believe I just got locked in the bathroom.”

Everyone but Snooki go out to a club called YAB. Mike goes up to the bar, and Mike picks a fight with some guy. Everyone else pretends to ignore it. It cools down quick, and Mike walks away and goes home realizing that he has nobody on his side.

Meanwhile, at the club, everyone else is having a great time, including Ron and Sam and together.

Episode rating – 4.5/5, pretty crazy stuff. Probably some of the most fun we’ve had this season.