It’ll be nice when this show is over. It’s definitely time for these kids to hang it up.
The show starts with a public service announcement with Vinny in Times Square talking about where to donate money to help rebuild and salvage the Jersey Shore which has been ravaged by #Sandy. That’s pretty nice.
Jen is on the phone with Roger and he’s stressing that she shouldn’t get in his face when he’s fighting. He tries to plead with her that he needs some space but that they’re not breaking up. She wants him to come over and make fun of her broken foot. This is dumb. Talk about creating drama over three episodes that doesn’t pay off.
Mike is complaining about his girlfriend planning his life now that they’re official. Everyone thinks she’s ridiculous but also that he’s being ridiculous. I think they’re all ridiculous, but that’s a different story.
At the t-shirt shop, Danny makes Deena work in a prisoner outfit that is about seven sizes too big.
Paula comes down to the t-shirt shop, which she never does, and Mike is freaked out. The rest of the cast seems too happy about this. They think he’s going to break up with her because she’s cramping his style. It honestly seems like they just started going out the day before. Maybe they did. I can’t tell the way this thing is edited.
Pauly and Vinny plan a prank on Deena. Their idea is to take all of the pictures that Deena has with her boyfriend and reinact the poses at a photo booth and replace her pictures with theirs. Ok. That’s pretty funny. When they get back, Deena had already arrived back home. She actually noticed her pictures were gone. Pauly runs interference while Vinny replaces them on her night stand. She laughs when she sees the pictures. That was cute.
Ron and Deena go play games on the boardwalk and then go out for shots. Deena gets bombed, and Ron is pretty unimpressed.
At home, everyone gets ready to hit up Karma. Snooki decides to go too. A bunch of Jen’s good friends are there. Roger hooked it up and surprised her with his presence. Gianni shows up too. It’s really a party now that the little wimpy guido showed up. Mike is shaking hands with girls and showing them his abs. He admits to exploring other options. A girl who looks like Paula is grinding on him. Some guy who is friends with Paula introduces himself as such and tells Mike that Paula really loves him. She’s sending spies out now. I don’t know what to make of this, but Mike gets really pissed about it. Another girl who is Paula’s friend teases him that she saw something he did. He seems to be taking this one much better. After all that, Mike decides to go home alone.
On the ride back, Ron talks about how Deena didn’t stop talking about herself during their fun time earlier. Deena makes a big deal of this and starts an argument. Ron clarifies that he had a good time and was just saying what she was doing. She still acts offended and threatens to leave the house and go home.
The next morning, Paula calls Mike. He mentions he talked to a friend of hers, and she says she knows, but doesn’t make much of anything. He calls it a success. Nothing like getting away with grinding on other girls when you have a girlfriend!
The next morning, Deena has slept it off as she hugs Ron and everything is fine.
Mike, Vinny, and Pauly get together for breakfast and GTL. M…V…PEEEEEEE!!! There’s an awkward girl watching them eat. They keep showing this girl’s creepy face for about five minutes. I really don’t need this.
Ron decides to hang with the girls, and that means he has to put up with Deena complaining that her butt hurts from “pooping too much.” Yuck.
Snooki is struggling through cooking for Gianni. They show her struggle with turning on the flame and then with browning/burning garlic. The whole place smokes up, and she calls her dad and says, “my house is burning down right now.” He gets really pissed. She hangs up on him and gets back to work. It looks like she breaded and burned some cutlets, cooked some sauce, and dropped some pasta. She takes a bite and makes a grossed out face.
Ron, Sam, and Deena are out partying. Deena splits off from the crew and hangs with random jobbers. Sam and Ron leave her to do her thing. When they get home, Sam picks up the phone, and it’s Deena’s mom. Her mom gives her the 5th degree and wants Sam to go back to the boardwalk and get her. Her mom is really pissed.
Gianni shows up at Snooki’s house and sees what Snooki did for him. The food looks like shit but he tells her it looks awesome. How nice! He tastes it and reassures her that it’s good. She thinks he made a throw-up face.
Deena walks home from a drunken bender. Deena’s mom calls her as soon as she gets home. Her mom picks a fight with her so bad. Deena doesn’t understand why she’s getting so mad. Her mom isn’t hearing any of it; she’s going down there immediately and taking Deena out of the house.
She calls her mom back and tells her she’s not leaving. Deena’s mom tells her she has to stop drinking like that. Deena says she can’t promise that, and then tells her mom she wants to go home. She calls her boyfriend and tells him to pick her up. He refuses. The kids in the house are laughing and making fun of her about this. One minute she doesn’t want to leave, the next she’s calling other people to get her.
While drunk, Deena picks a verbal spat with Ron. He apparently doesn’t know how she feels. She says that about 37 times. He just laughs in her face.
Episode rating – 0.5/5…wow, this one sucked.