No espresso for me tonight, so I’m probably gonna be tired.
Snooki wakes up from Vinny’s bed and wakes Jenni up at 7am. She tells Jen that she slept in Vinny’s bed. Snooki gets a very judgmental look. We all know what this means. Jenni breaks the news to Snooki that Mike told everyone he received fellatio from Snooki. Mile walks in and there’s a confrontation. But it goes nowhere. It’s more of a banter.
Mike calls some giggly kid to corroborate the Snooki fellatio story. It’s really gross that this kid probably watched.
Snooki and Jen are at breakfast. Snooki orders two mimosas and mentions that she thinks Vinny probably only touched her junks. I’m getting uncomfortable with this. I didn’t sign up to write about this gross stuff.
Mike starts threatening to have his buddy call Gianni to tell him the story. The plot is thickening. Everybody gets pissed at Mike for doing this.
On the way back to the apartment, Snooki and Jen are starting hi jinx in the street. Snooki buys an expensive bottle of wine that is larger than her and proceeds to break it on the street. The guy who sold it to her mentioned it was very old, 1981. He probably loved taking her money for it only to watch her break it.
Vinny calls his mom and tells her that the boys are going to Sicily to see their town.
Mike explains to Pauly how he had that giggly guy inform Gianni about the fellatio. Pauly has no idea what’s going on; you can tell this guy really doesn’t care for the drama and is just there for the party. Sam fills Snooki in on this whole thing. Snooki starts to beat the living piss out of Mike. She throws everything she can get her hands on at him including a bottle of champagne which hits a wall and almost kills Sam. Mike tells everyone it was a joke. I guess he wanted this to happen. He was testing who was the rat. I mean, hey Mike, these kids don’t like you, you think stuff like this helps?
Snooki goes outside for a five minute cigarette break, and Mike tries to talk to her; she throws a real fit. She is screaming like a banshee.
Pauly is convinced Vinny got it in with Snooki. So am I. Who doesn’t remember sex? I’m sure that her memory is not that bad even when drunk.
The next day, the guys get ready to go to Sicily, and the girls get ready for a wine tour of Tuscany.
Vinny thinks Sicily looks like Jurassic Park, like the part when King Kong comes out of the woods. None of this last sentence was made up by me.
The Guanidino family was ready for them. Literally, there was a dozen people there waiting for the kids’ arrival.
On the wine tour, the girls are afraid a winery that has been operating for 900 years is haunted. They sit down for a tasting that looks like it has a full course dinner to pair with the wines. Over this meal, Jen tells Snooki that she needs to come to the realization that Gianni needs to know about Snooki’s ambiguous escapade with Vinny. The rest of the girls chime in that Gianni is wrong for Snooki. Jen doesn’t think Gianni would accept the hookup with Vinny hours after a fight with Gianni. No decent person should.
In Sicily, the food looks incredible. Sausage, bucatini con sarde, wine, water, beer, and lots of everything.
The girls are so drunk that they get to a winery and start falling asleep on the barrels. Then they drink some more, and a verbal spat between Snooki and Jen starts. Snooki storms out to their bus after Jen insists that Gianni won’t accept Snooki’s crap. Their bus ride home is pretty awkward.
The people in Sicily show Vinny four generations of people. This is definitely the boring B story this week.
Snooki and Jen make up and hug.
Snooki calls her Dad who informs Snooki that Gianni changed his facebook status to “single.” She starts crying because now it’s official, but her dad reminds her that’s what she wanted. Snooki calls Gianni to confront him about this, ohh, and to confess about what happened with Vinny. Gianni gets pissed. Threatening Vinny. F you. This. That. Snooki is left in tears.
The boys leave Sicily after a whole lot of nothing.
Snooki calls Gianni back. He wants to know what happened exactly with Vinny. In her candid, she says that she and Vinny tried to have sex but it didn’t work. What does that even mean? You pass the threshold, that’s sex; follow through with it anyway because you’re already guilty. She insists with Gianni it was just hands. He gives her a second chance, and she is elated.
Editing made it look like the guys arrive at the exact moment of celebration.
Snooki pulls Vinny aside to find out exactly what happened. His attitude clairfies that of course they had sex. Snooki goes straight to the phone to inform Gianni. “…something more happened.”
And from the events shown in the preview, it doesn’t look like Gianni is going to react well.
Episode rating – 3/5